Monday, January 31, 2011

Perspective

So I posted earlier about being so nervous and worked up about giving a company-wide presentation.  Well, we had a guest motivational speaker prior to anyone's presentations.  His name was John O'Leary (http://www.rising-above.com/) - if you ever need a motivational speaker for religious, personal or business reasons - he definitely fits the bill.

At nine years of age, John was playing with fire one day while his dad was at work and his mom was out.  He ended up catching on fire and his older brother found him.  It took his brother two minutes to put the fire out.  When John got to the hospital, they found that he was burnt on 100% of his body, with third degree burns on over 85% of his body.  Every healthcare professional gave him a 0% chance of surviving the night.  You wouldn't think this story would have application in a business setting, but he was able to apply it to business.

He gave us a booklet and said that in life, just like at the airport, there are three questions that need to be asked.  They are:
- Who are you?
- Where are you going?
- Who is going with you?

He was able to relate each to his life and to business.  With the question who are you - he talked about how certain "fires" happen in life.  While they may be negative at the time, there is always a positive that results from it.  These fires change you.  We had to fill out a workbook page that had what is your most difficult experience in both business and personal life.  Then we had to answer what we learned from this and how it changed us.  Then John really pushed us, asking us to share it with the group.  He said that no matter what you have to go through today, nothing compares to these fires.  He even said that sharing this would make anything else we did today seem minor in comparison.  Hearing all of this brought a lot of perspective in my fear of presenting.

For John, his life-changing moment was the fire.  He was told he wouldn't live, then that he wouldn't walk and a list a mile long of other things he wouldn't do.  He did them all.  Not to the scale of John's experience is mine, but I could definitely relate.  Enduring two back surgeries and being told I have an autoimmune disease that has no cure and will probably get worst was hard.  To go from being an active athlete able to do anything to not being able to use the bathroom on my own was hard.  To be told a list of things I would never do again was hard.  But it did change me and it inspired me to push through things.  I have now done almost everything on the list that I was told I would never do.  It has tested my limits in terms of what I thought was pain.  It has made me a determined person.

The next question was where are you going.  This ties in to the prior part of everything John was told he wouldn't do.  He gave a great quote of "when you know the why, the how doesn't matter."  He pointed to these life-changing events sometimes providing perspective on what you are to do with your life.  For him, he endured his experience and recovery and it was never talked about again in his family until five years ago when his parents wrote a book about the experience.  He bought the book and realized how much the experience impacted others.  He had never been a public speaker.  In fact, he made a D in public speaking in college.  But he realized his story was one that needed told.  He started to speak and has now made a business out of it.  With the where are you going, we had to answer questions like five year plan, 12 month plans and what you will do to achieve those.  He also asked the question of, if I knew I wouldn't fail, what would I do both personally and in business.

The next question was who is going with you.  On this one, he talked about all the people in his life that made his recovery possible.  The first night in the hospital he asked his mom if he was going to die.  Her response was do you want to die.  He said no and she said that he had to fight like he has never fought before and that they would be there every step of the way.  He thought his dad would be furious with him since the house was burnt too.  His dad came in and grabbed his hand and said how much he loved him and how proud he was of him.  He had a nurse that every morning would come in and give him a bath and redress his wounds.  His nurse would come in and say to him that he was going to walk again, and in the meantime I am coming along and will help you.  The nurse would pick him up hover John's feet over the floor and carry him to the bath.  John said he knew he would never walk - he was burnt to the bone on his legs.  But he said after months of this nurse telling him this, he finally bought in to the sentiment.

He had therapists that would come and stretch him every day.  John would make so much noise screaming that they had to move him away from other patients and give him a towel to bite on.  While he was crying through this, he noticed the therapists crying too.  He said his thought was I am the one that is going through this, what do they have to cry about.  But then he realized that they are the people that come in to our life, not for the money and endure with you.

Right after he was put in the hospital, the St. Louis Cardinal's announcer Jack Buck came to visit him.  He had never met John before, but he came in and told John that he was going to live and that they were going to have a John O'Leary day at the Cardinals Stadium.  Jack walked out and crumpled on the floor crying.  The nurses asked if he was all right, and he asked if John would live.  The nurse told him that it was just a matter of time.  Jack asked the nurses what more he could do.  John pointed out that he never asked what was that kid thinking or where were his parents, it was what more could he do.  Jack came back every day that he could while John was in the hospital.  When he couldn't, he would announce a shout-out to John on the radio while commentating.  There was a John O'Leary day at the stadium.  Jack continued to ask what more he could do.

It is people like this that are also part of your journey.  He was able to equate it to business in terms of this being a team that is there to support you.  For me, I was so fortunate to have people like this in my life during my hardest time.  I had amazing parents that moved their grown daughter back home to care for her after they thought their caregiving days were behind them.  I had an amazing husband that sacrificed selflessly too many times to name.  I had a puppy that served as my nurse - she would get up and walk beside me when I did laps.  When the pain was too much and I was crying, she would lay her head in my lap.  I was also blessed to know who my friends were during this.  I had friends that would travel hours to come and spend a weekend with me, despite their lives and busy schedules.

So needless to say, John O'Leary's speech definitely was motivational and had an impact on me.  So, who are you, where are you going and who is going with you?

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